Wake me up when November Ends

It's been raining in Gorizia for about 2 weeks now. Three weeks ago it was hot and everyone was gearing up to go to the beach. Now everyone is gearing up for the cold. They tell me that this is what November feels like, not June.
I miss the sun.
Anyways, this is kind of a catch up post. Last week I hit my 9 month mark. Wow. It seems like yesterday I that I'd just arrived. It's hard to believe that I'll be going home soon. I don't like thinking about that.
To celebrate 9 months, I went to Green Day. I know, an American in Italy going to see an American band in Italy. It doesn't make sense. It was still really fun! I sung and sung and sung. The next day my throat hurt but it was worth it. I've never had so much fun before. Okay so maybe I have but that doesn't matter. First concert off the bucket list!
Then the next day, was the Gorizia Triathlon. Did I do it? Heh, no. I volunteered instead. I had to count the laps in the pool with my friend Vicky. We all know about Vicky who is this amazing triathlete. She did well in the race too.
Plus there was an Olympian competing in the triathlon. His name is Alessandro Fabian and he came in 10th at London. I even got an autograph. On my t-shirt! I will never wash that shirt again. Okay maybe I will but only in special cases.
So that's been my life. I mean I was sick a few weeks ago and I lost 3 kilos...okay maybe 2. Still losing weight is a good thing in my situation. All the pasta tends to add up.
Then tomorrow, I'm going to the Dolomite's with the other exchange students for our last meeting. There will be tears no doubt. Sunday is the Pro Gorizia championship soccer game. I will be running back from Dobbiacco to see them play. My friends are on that team.
Next Sunday, I'll be in Milan for the start of the Euro tour. 14 days, 30 exchange students, a lot of cities and one bus. There will never be a dull moment. I will be going to: Milan, Lione, Paris, Strasbourg, Munich, Prague, a city outside of Prague, Vienna and Venice. So it should be fun. I mean Paris! Who doesn't want to go to Paris?
School ends next Saturday and I have my class party right afterwards. So next week is going to be busy, busy, busy.

We have nothing to fear but fear itself

The thing is with fear, you don't really know you have it until your faced with a big, scary situation. Before coming to Italy, I was never really scared. Not one bit. My dad used to say it was because the idea of being away for a year hadn't really sunk in yet. The idea, that reality, had sunk in but I wasn't scared. I had no fear. This was something I wanted and I wasn't going to let fear stop me.
Now, with 50 some odd days left, I have that feeling of fear. That feeling where when you think about it, it takes your breath away and your belly gets all knotted up. I'm afraid for what senior year is going to bring. I'm afraid that my friends won't care about what I did this year and who I met and who I've become. I'm afraid no one will get my feeling of being thrown back into a closed room after a year of freedom.
You're probably thinking, why are you scared? You just spent the year alone, without your parents and without your mother language. Going back home should be a walk in the park. Let me tell you something; it's not. I have a new life here and I don't want to give it up. I have new friends and a new family and I don't want to lose them. I feel like I'm a cancer patent with only so many days left to live and I have to be okay with knowing that. I'M NOT OKAY KNOWING THAT!
I graduate in a year and I already have senioritis. I want to skip senior year, go right to college and start my life. I want to start traveling and writing. I want to know how big but yet how small this world is. I want to wake up in a town, where nobody knows my name and go from there. Most of all, I want to get away from that closed room and into the open air.
We all have different perceptions of home. Home is where you feel loved and cared for. Sometimes it's not even a fixed place. When I went to the Winds and was living out of a tent and a backpack, I felt at home. I was surrounded by a thing I loved. Now here in Italy, I'm at home. I've found a home at the track with my teammates and coaches. I've found a home at school with my friends and my crazy Italian teacher. (She's my favorite) I've found a home among the grape vines and fruit trees of San Floriano. I've found a home at a house filled with amazing people I'm proud to call my family.
In all of these places, I feel like I don't have to prove myself. I feel like even though I'm judged at times, it doesn't matter in the long run. I have found myself. For a few years, I thought I'd lost myself, my path in life. I was never really lost. The path was just long with a lot of obstacles. My path led me here, to Italy. It led me to knowing what I want to do in life.
That paragraph just made me cry.
There are no quotes for this feeling of fear. There is no consoling. There is no one in the world who knows what this feeling feels like. Maybe there is someone but who knows the feeling but it's not the same feeling. There is only one thing to do: You have to take a deep breath and jump. You have to jump into that pit of unknown things and hope that everything is going to be alright. I've learned that 99.9% of the time, you're going to be alright. It might hurt a little bit, it might be a little dark so bring extra band-aids and batteries for your flashlight.
I'm going to make it through my senior year. Sure, I might be a little whinny and a little too happy to graduate but I'll make it through. Then I get to come back to Italy. I get to show my family my new family. I get to show them the town and the people that made me who I am today. I'll get to see my friends and be out in the open air. I'll be able to give my sister a taste of the freedom that I'm drinking today.
Maybe fear is a good thing. Maybe it'll help me take the risks I need to take.

When in Rome...

Be a tourist.

I went to Rome last week! It was amazing. I'm telling you three days wasn't enough. Honestly! I need at least a week there to enjoy everything and get my fill of all the history. 

I was in Rome from the Sunday the 28 until the first of May. I went with the Braidas because well I switched host families again. Now I'm back home with the Braidas. Sure, I miss riding the bike to practice but it feels better to be back at home. I'm comfy here. Plus the cherries are almost ripe and Marco says we can start eating them in like a week! Yum!

Okay, back to Rome. I switched host families Saturday and Sunday morning we woke up early but not too early. We had breakfast (Without Nicola because he wasn't able to come) and were on the road for 9ish. Gorizia to Rome is not a short road trip. It was about 10 hours including stops. We also got lost for an hour looking for methanol. Go figure that if we'd taken the right turn in the round about we would have found it within 5 minutes. But whatever.

We got to Rome around 5:30-6. We found where we were staying. We were in an apartment that a college student was renting out. It was really nice. Two bedrooms, bathroom and a kitchen inside one of the bedrooms. Small but perfect for the four of us. 

We got situated then went out for a walk to the Colosseum. On our way there we passed San Giovanni in Laterano or Saint John's Church. It used to be where the Pope lived until the 1300s when the Pope moved to France. Now it's just a church. A massive church that would eat you if it could. It's too big for just one man and all the staff. On the top are all the statues of the important Bible people. It makes you feel pretty insignificant. Trust me. Then to the side in the square is an Egyptian Obelisk. It was taken by Constantine for a guy named Severus. I learned that by reading the Latin inscription. I never knew I could read Latin before.

We kept on walking and within 15 minutes we got to the Colosseum. I was starting to learn that all the ancient buildings have a way of making you feel super small in the world. The Colosseum made me feel that way too. I can only imagine being a prisoner of war in ancient Rome and being taken to your death at the Colosseum. You see this blaring white marble gilded ring and hear the people cheering. Two words: you're screwed. Since it was almost 8, the Colosseum was closed for the night. But the people were just getting started. There were vendors, tourists, college students, kids my age all hanging out around the area. I hear so many languages and saw so many different types of people. All within the space of 20 minutes. 

The Arc of Constantine was our next stop. Since it was right next to the Colosseum, it wasn't that far of a walk. In the dark you couldn't really see all the pictures that well but it was still impressive. Apparently back in the day, if an emperor won a war, they built an arc for him commemorating his win. So there was definitely a reason to win the war. You got an arc to ride under when you came back. People, let's remember that this arc is also made out of marble.

Dinner was next. We went to this pizza place outside of the Colosseum on a small road. Since it was run by people from Naples I couldn't understand a thing. Back to square one. People from Naples are known for speaking super fast with this super heavy accent. The pizza was good and the tiramisù even better.

We headed back to the apartment and went to bed. A 10 hour road trip and walking around really takes it out of you.

Monday morning, we woke up and had breakfast. It wasn't even 9 yet and it felt as if it was 70 out. I wore a tank top and shorts. I was feeling super summery. Then we got the subway. I haven't rode the subway in years. Not since I went to DC and I thought I looked normal. Then Claudia pulls me over and asks if this was my first time on the subway. I shook my head and she said "Oh, it seems like it. You keep looking stunned." Oops. There goes my facade of awesomeness. 

We got off at the Spanish steps but instead of going directly to the steps we went up a level. We went to the look out over Rome. You could see everything. Even the Vatican. Behind us was a church given to Rome as a gift from France in the 1700s. Plus another obelisk. Then we headed to the Villa Borghese which is this giant garden with a Villa in the middle. There were busts of important Italians and a water clock at the start. We kept walking inwards and it was amazing. And very big. I found a small pond with a temple dedicated to Poseidon the Greek god of water. His Roman counterpart is Neptune. Except the writing above the temple was in Greek not Latin. We got to the Villa and it was giant. It was built by the Borghese family and now it's an art museum. I can't do it justice by describing it. You might as well look it up on Google. It was amazing to see.

We caught the bus and arrived at another church. We'd gotten off a stop early because we were going to go to the Spanish steps. So we ended walking to the steps. Which was fine because we went looking for shoes. Except we couldn't find anything. As we got closer to the steps the crowd got larger and larger. When we got to the steps there were so many people. All trying to escape the heat and get a picture at the famous Spanish steps. I got my picture and got to be amazed by the view. You have the steps, the obelisk and then the church. All on top of each other. It was really nice. There were also all these flowers decorating the steps. It helped make it colorful.

We took a walk down Via dei Condotti also known as the high fashion street. Prada, Gucci, ect... You get the picture. As I walking down the street, I couldn't help but think it must be nice to be live in that part of the tax bracket. Carla saw a purse for 1500€! Yeah, no thanks. I saw a watch with a price tag so large you could buy two cars instead.

Next up was the Trevi Fountain. Another small square packed with people. But it was worth it! I threw my coins in and made a wish. I was looking forward to having a Lizzy Mcguire (Do you guys remember that show?) moment but I didn't. It doesn't matter. They say that when you throw your coins in the fountain will try to repay you. Well a few days ago, I was looking in my school bag and found money. The Trevi Fountain wins again!

We got panini for lunch and found a place to eat. No it wasn't at a table but instead in this square surrounded by apartments. It was more of a court yard and the cool thing was that on the wall where all these mural of high English fashion from the 1800s. The words on the wall said "Dedicated to English Fashion". It was such a cool little treasure.

After lunch, we walked to the Pantheon. Have I mentioned how much I walked while in Rome? A lot. The Pantheon used to be a temple but then it was converted to a church. In the middle of the ceiling is a large open hole letting sun light in. It's called an Oculus. When the Pantheon used to be a temple, they kept candles burning all the time. This made it so that when it rained, the inside wouldn't get wet. The rain would evaporate before it had the chance to hit the floor. Today, it rains inside the church. The Pantheon is also famous for it's four tombs; The first king and queen of Italy, his son, and Raphael. I saw all four and Raphael's tomb is the simplest. Just a marble coffin with writing. The outside of the Pantheon also used to be covered with marble. Forgot to mention that small fact.

In the Pantheon's square is another obelisk sitting above a fountain. The water in the fountain was so nice. It was cool and dunking my hands in helped combat the heat of the day. 

Of course, since we were missing the most important drink of the day we went to Piazza Navona for coffee. Piazza Navona used to be the site of a stadium back in the day. Now it's the site of the fountain of Four Rivers and the Brazilian Embassy. It was really nice being able to sit and relax for a half hour. My feet need that.

Another bus and we arrived at the Vatican city. Pop quiz! What did I say I was wearing? A dress? A skirt? Modest clothing for church?

If you answered any of the above, you need to read a little closer. I was wearing shorts and a tank top. While on the bus, I started to freak out in my head. They're not going to let me into the city! Holy crap! What am I going to do? Well, I got into the city okay. There weren't any gates or anything. 

St. Peter's Square is huge. I'm going to refrain "massive church that could eat you". Except now that church has all these saints to help. It's just so much for one old man and the staff and cardinals. I mean wow. It was huge! 

Back to the current problem. How in the world am I going to get into the church? I got past security just fine and my confidence was building. Then came another gate with two body guards. Maybe I can just sneek- NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN SHORTS? THE LORD HATES KNEES! Note to self; next time pack pants.

Here's how I solved the problem: Using Claudia and Carla's cardigans we made a make shift skirt. I couldn't take normal strides and I had to penguin up steps but we made it work. I got to go into the church!

St. Peter's Basilica is giant inside. I mean it's never ending. The celling has all these frescos and writing on it. I mean, there are no words to describe it. Apparently God didn't want me taking photos either because my camera died right as I walked in. I was able to go into the Catacombs and see the Pope dear Dante hated. Plus they had three Popes in glass cases, perfectly preserved. I'm still confused if they were wax or real. I think they were real. Plus it was a little creepy because it looked like they were sleeping. No, I wasn't able to go into the Sistine Chapel. We'd gotten there too late. Oh well. There's always next year. I couldn't light a candle for Grandmother because it's not the kind of church where you can light a candle for your loved ones. 

We came back out and I was able to take my make shift skirt off. Then we walked down Via Sacrum to Castelo Sant'Angelo. It's Hadrian's giant tomb. On the top is this giant arc angel or what seems like an arc angel. I could be wrong. Then the bridge leading up to the tomb has all these statues of angels. I couldn't go in because, well, it was closed. It was already 5. We took a walk through the street stalls and then we crossed the bridge. We headed to Campo De' Fiori.

Campo De'Fiori is the only piazza in Rome not to have a church. That's because right in the middle is a giant statue of a hooded Giordano Bruno. He was a man of the church educated in science but became a rebel. Mind you, this is 1580. In 1600, he was burned alive in Campo De'Fiori. I like Giordano Bruno. He died for what he believed in. That's the life.

In Campo De'Fiori, we were looking for someone who knew directions to this restaurant in the Jewish ghetto. We ended up having this really nice conversation with this old man who used to be a taxi driver. He gave us directions but also another restaurant to go to. He said that we would eat well there. 

So we went to the Jewish ghetto for dinner. We thought we'd gone to the right restaurant but the next day it turned out we went to the restaurant before the really good restaurant. I was so tired and I wanted to eat but they forgot about our table. But I got to eat anyways. After an hour and a half of waiting.

We took a bus to San. Giovanni in Laterano and walked back to the apartment. Claudia told me the next day, I looked like a zombie during dinner. I felt like it. I wanted food and was tired of walking.

Tuesday morning, we woke up early and caught the subway to the Circo Massimo. It was in the middle of traffic and they were doing restoration work. A lot of the people were using it as a jogging track. Well as long as they get use out of it today that's fine with me. Then we found a small church behind of another arc. Except this is the arc dedicated to Janus. It has four columns unlike the normal two column arc. We passed the temple of Hercules and the mouth of truth. The mouth of truth is this face with a hole in the mouth where you put your hand. They say if you have a lying soul then the mouth will bite you. It was in this church that I got to light a candle for my Grandmother. MISSION COMPLETE! There was also a secrete alter under the church that we got to see. Hadrian built it to celebrate two Roman gods.
We continued on our walk and came to the Capitoline hill. This hill over looks Rome and in the middle is a giant statue of Marcus Aurelius on a horse. This piazza is known as Piazza dei Conservatori. There's also a fountain with the Roman goddess of Justice sitting in the middle. Since the government takes no breaks, there was a very important meeting going on in the building overshadowing the fountain. Along with the meeting came a protest. I had no idea what they were protesting about but Claudia said it was because one of Berliconi's men had been elected. Eep!
On the left back corner of the Capitoline hill, is the Palatine hill with the Roman forum sitting below. We walk down the hill, past the Roman forum and to the Colosseum. I don't know how much time we spent at the Colosseum. It was amazing to walk around inside and see everything. Or the remainder of everything. I wish I could've seen it in its hay-day. There's only a small section of seats left but you get the idea. Then where the arena is, there are the seats of the senators with their names still carved in the marble. They say that the poorest of the people, had to go all the way to the top to watch the games.
After the Colosseum, we went and got lunch. We had Napolitano and it was so good. I had fried pizza, which is like a calazzone but better, and a broccoli roll. We ate a lot. By the end, I felt like I needed to walk 30 miles just to feel better. We had coffee in this old time tea room with all these pictures of old Hollywood stars. Except this bar was out of the way and tucked into a wall. I loved it. I even got to read the paper in English. And there were comics!
Then we headed to the Palatine. That was amazing. I loved seeing all the old ruins of the old palaces. That's Rome for me. Seeing all the old stuff. Did you know that Augustus and his wives had different houses? I feel like when they fought, Livia could tell Augustus, "Go to your house!" instead of saying go sleep on the couch. Also in the Palatine, were these gardens looking over the forum. There were oranges way up high in the trees and I saw more than one person trying to pick an orange.
We weren't able to go to the Forum. I wanted to but it was around 6 and we still wanted to go the the island in the Tiber. So we went to the island. It's a very small island. There's only a bridge and a small maternal hospital. That's it. But it was still nice to walk along the Tiber.
Then we went shopping! I needed a pair of sandals to go with my new sundress and Carla needed a few pairs of shoes. We found a store and Claudia bought me a pair of leather sandals. BEST HOST MOM IN THE WORLD! Then we went back to Campo De'Fiori and went into this small shop. I bought a tank top with "Once upon a time" written on it under the apple tree from Snow White and this little monster. My new lucky charm is named Bruno after Giordano Bruno. It fits him quite well.
After we went and had dinner. We went to this small place famous for it's fried cod. Yeah, it was good. I had fried zucchini and cod. I was a very happy camper.
Then we took the subway home and went to bed.
Wednesday morning, we woke up, packed and since it was the first of May, none of the shops were open. May 1st is a holiday here in Italy for the work community. So we drove back to Gorizia. Another 9 hours in the car. But we made it home, had dinner, and I went to bed.
So all in all, my Roman vacation was amazing. I can't wait to go back! I need at least a week there to see everything!
May is pretty busy for me. I just went to Bozano for a triathlon and then the 26th is the Gorizia triathlon. Yeah, I'll be volunteering but I don't mind.